The mirror balls are whirling, the party poppers streaming. Yes, it¡¯s time to squeeze back into that little black outfit which was getting too tight even before it was shunted to the back of the wardrobe in spring 2020. Because here once again are the least loved awards in town: the Gongs In Travel, better known as the GITs, back for their 16th annual wheeze around the circuit. So charge your glasses with a double measure of Latvian prosecco and let¡¯s get cracking!

The Golden Middle Finger For The Most Derisory Damages Awarded For Travel-Related Litigation
WINNER: $1, awarded to American Airlines against Sabre
American Airlines¡¯ feud with Dallas neighbour Sabre over a contract has been running since 2013 ¨C that¡¯s four Prime Ministers ago for the benefit of UK-based readers. In fact, even more crazily, the dispute was actually started by US Airways in 2011, but then was kept running by AA when buying its rival two years later. Instead of kissing and making up for Christmas as I urged last year, the litigants finally proceeded to trial by jury in New York in April 2022. After having to sit through three weeks of argument, the jurors showed exactly what they thought by finding in favour of American Airlines on one out of two counts but awarding it just a single dollar in damages. That¡¯s $299,299,999 less than the $299.3 million AA had demanded. Better luck next time.

The Ferrero Rocher Award for Meetings Venue Of The Year
WINNER: 10 Downing Street, London SW1
Boris ¡°I Don¡¯t Follow The Rules, I Just Make Them¡± Johnson singlehandedly made ¡°business meeting¡± a euphemism for wild partying, as reports emerged in late 2021 and on into 2022 of at least 12 knees-ups in defiance of Covid lockdown regulations at his home at the time in London¡¯s Downing Street. The Metropolitan Police issued 216 fixed penalty notices to 83 individuals, including the then-PM who told Parliament he didn¡¯t realise any of these events had happened ¨C not even the ones he had been photographed drinking at. Quite funny in some ways, but perhaps less so for real meetings venues which lost millions because they did obey the rules by staying shut.

Hallmark Trophy for the Politician Least Likely to Receive a Christmas Card from UK Business Travel Executives
WINNER: The Right Honourable Grant Shapps MP, former Secretary of State for Transport
With apologies to readers in the rest of Europe, the UK does dominate this year¡¯s GITs, but that¡¯s the reward we reap for keeping an entire continent entertained throughout 2022. Grant Shapps scoops this award for a second year running ¨C quite some achievement. This time it¡¯s for ignoring travel companies¡¯ warnings that they would have to make employees redundant unless the furlough scheme was extended while Covid travel restrictions remained. When those restrictions were lifted, demand for flights surged and the inevitable chaos ensued at British airports, Shappsy apparently forgot he had been told this and proceeded to castigate the travel industry for not having enough staff. Buck passing of the highest order.

The Shirley Bassey Hey Big Spender Platinum Globe For Business Traveller Of The Year
WINNER: The Right Honourable Elizabeth Truss MP
Readers with longer memories may recall the United Kingdom briefly had a Prime Minister called Liz Truss. During this 44-day hallucination, her mantra of ¡°Growth, growth, growth¡± only manifested itself in economic turmoil and borrowing rates shooting to record levels. Before assuming the Premiership, however, Ms Truss played being foreign secretary, during which time she made her own magnificent contribution to growing the business travel sector. Somehow she? racked up ?1.8 million of public money on 20 trips in six months, whereas predecessor Dominic Raab managed only ?67,000 on travel in the same amount of time.

The Bafta For Best In-Flight Entertainment
WINNER: Air France for its pilot punch-up
Cockpits are named after the arenas used for cock fights, but two Air France pilots took this violent verbal association a bit too far by grappling and punching each other while they were supposed to be flying an aeroplane from Geneva to Paris in June. Apparently they had first exchanged ¡°inappropriate gestures¡± ¨C inflammatory Gallic shrugs, no doubt. Both pilots were duly suspended.

HIGHLY COMMENDED: United Airline for Snakes On A Plane (live version)
Okay, it was only one snake, and it turned out to be pretty harmless, but the unscheduled appearance of a serpent slithering through business class on a flight from Tampa to Newark in October certainly had passengers screaming in the aisles, nearly just like at the cinema.

Captain Hook Travel Pantomime Villain Of The Year
WINNER: Hotel ¡°resort¡± fees (Oh no they¡¯re not! Oh yes they are!)
Even the President of the United States hates them. ¡°When you think you¡¯re paying one price to book a hotel, you only find out after checking out that there¡¯s a ¡®resort fee¡¯ you never heard about that¡¯s added to your bill,¡± Joe Biden said as he announced a crackdown in October. A few US hotels briefly tried levying a ¡°sustainability fee¡± too in 2022 ¨C though the colour of the extra dollars they trousered seemed the only thing truly green about that particular ploy.

Hartley¡¯s Glass Jar For Putting Most Jam On The Cohen Family Table in 2022
WINNER: Remote working
Covid, Brexit and NDC all made sterling contributions once again this year but I reckon the subject I made most cash out of writing about was the challenge of? arranging employees¡¯ travel now they all work from home. Personally, I can¡¯t see what the fuss is about. I¡¯ve been home-based since 1992, when the practice was briefly known as ¡°telecottaging¡±, a phrase that, strangely, never caught on.